That’s the sound I’m making as I blow the dust off this bad boy. Long time no update…I know. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the Jester show which will be a complete assortment of random thoughts since it’s late and I am eyeing a bottle of Baileys…
This is the first night in probably 6 weeks I will not be wrapping yarn around small rings, cutting felt, or burning the skin off my fingers with my glue gun. I may have overextended myself but as I recently mentioned to Randy, crafting from 7pm-11pm during these doldrums months of freezing hell may have helped me to kick S.A.D. That’s right. I self diagnosed myself as having Seasonal Affective Disorder a.k.a. Winter Blues…it gets dark at 4pm and I can barely keep my eyes open driving home from work, I generally feel grumpy, and if not falling asleep while driving home, tend to crawl into bed at 9pm. And if you know me, you know I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination…so take this times 100 in the winter. But this winter? Maybe it’s a mix of staying busy, a little less stress at work (except for today-oh yes, I worked today and guess who won the lottery of working hungover on 12/26? You got it homeboy- yours truly.), sitting myself under a bright light by which I stitch, and sew, and glue for 4 hours a night, and the fact that except for getting dark at 4pm, December has really felt more like October. I packed away my puffer coats last year and have yet to find them, but have been perfectly comfortable in my uninsulated fall trench coat layered over a sweater so far this winter. No snow to battle as I race 50mph to work, no -23 wind chills, no ice to scrape off my windshield after work when all I want to do is be home in 20 minutes…the grass looks greener than it normally does in May. I’ll take it. So anyway, how’s that for positive outlook from an otherwise pessimistic person? Merry Christmas to you Jester.
Now, on to the fat man that’s going to stuff himself down the chimney in 2 nights…
Me: Charley, what do you want Santa to bring you?
C: Presents. Santa brings presents.
Me: I know…what kind of presents do you want?
C: M&Ms.
Me: Duly noted. What else?
C: Ummmm…cupcakes.
Me: Ok. Anything else?
C: Cupcakes with sprinkles.
Me: Good thinking…don’t forget the sprinkles. Anything else?
C: Ummm…birthday cake.
Can you tell this child is not withheld from desserts? Sugar on the brain. In reality, Chuckster is getting a Kindle Fire. No, WE are not getting a Kindle Fire…I could care less if I had one…but us telling C that our phones are broke because we don’t want her grubby paws deleting apps and making random phone calls and/or emails is getting old. (Side story: Randy got a new phone…so new it has email…so Randy had to call me from the Sprint store to ask me what his email is so the store chick could set it up for him. I emailed him for the second time in my life today…which started out as a text of a grocery list until I remembered he caught up with the rest of the world and I could just send him an email from work. But I still sent him a text telling him to check his email because I like to cover all bases and am not sure email checking is a daily Randy activity. vDownside to Randy discovering technology? vHe plays chess against a computer for hours every night and will sometimes yell out that the computer is cheating. Bobby “Randy” Fisher.) So versus dropping dough on crap she won’t want in 6 months, she’s getting her own tab (that’s the cool word for it right?) for games and apps, complete with multi-year warranty for accidental toilet dunkings, pre-loaded apps courtesy of Santa, and a pink case. And for travel she can watch movies and shows free courtesy of Amazon Prime. Amazon, high five for the gift that is as useful for a 2 year old as it is for a 52 year old. OH, and unfortunately what I thought would be forever free 2-day shipping through Amazon for buying diapers has come to an end…I hit the one year max…so now we can really focus on potty training Chuckster since her pooping herself has outlived it’s one benefit…but clicking and having something arrive at work 2 days later is just way too appealing and I had to treat myself to a Prime membership.
On to New Year’s…my resolutions a.k.a. wishful thinkings…a.k.a. projects that Randy doesn’t want to hear about…
1. Buy these, except only when they go on clearance, with an extra percent off, and with free shipping. Once can dream. Have I mentioned we have closets made for midgets? And not that many of them? We each need a locker by the front door…Martha Stewart would approve.
2. Put away Christmas decorations by the first weekend after New Years. Which means they will have been up all of 2 weeks as I severely slacked in decorating this season due to my aforementioned nightly crafting in the downstairs sweatshop. I’ve decided also that at least half of my existing decorations are going in the garage sale pile also at this time which will reduce 4 tubs of crap down to 2.
3. Clean out and revamp my wardrobe. Once again, small closets, clothes loving girl= problem. I HAVE been much smarter at what I buy and it’s stuff I wear often, so I’m getting my money’s worth, but the old crap I’m hanging on to for god knows what reason needs to go. Now that I’m not schlepping around body shops on a weekly basis with grease monkeys giving me the eye, I can actually be semi-dressed up at work which is a nice change from flats and khakis. Ebay, donating, giving away…whatever.
4. Paint the red wall in the house something else…enter Randy’s blood pressure escalating.
5. Paint the front door…that blood pressure? It’s now at 150/100.
6. Hang stuff on the bathroom walls again and touch up the ceiling from the remodel. It’s been 2 years, I think it’s time.
7. Get a squirrel feeder. Weird? Yes. But I think about it weekly so it’s making the list.
8. Get a floor steamer…because I hate mopping. I also hate cleaning, so more likely than not I will just shove a swiffer towards Chuckster and let her have at it. I CAN NOT WAIT for her to work the vacuum.
9. Clean out my favorites list and get on the blog reader thing…yes, I actually search through my favorites every time I want to read one of my fav blogs…I’m 100% sure there is an easier way.
10. Print pictures. I have one billion pictures on my laptop. I have zero physical copies of most of these pictures. Will someone please invent a better way for picture organizing/printing/storing…and make it cheap.
11. Clean out my car- which I do a fairly good job at in the summer months when it’s nice out, but come cold weather, if you didn’t have the capability to exit my car on your own, you would be sucked into it’s black hole of disaster-ness. I asked people at work who park next to me not to look inside it for fear they will call A&E to submit my name for Hoarders and then stage an intervention.
12. Either use Netflix, or cancel the $5/month subscription. The one DVD we currently have has probably cost us $40.
